As I watch Life flash by

My mind's been in the boondocks....lesse since...FOREVER! As realization of the same dawned on me, "electric" impulses across the synapses of my semi-redundant neuron mass forged yet an another memory. As the recoil passed and as I went over my life, I realise that at least a fourth of my life has passed and I've made about as much use of my mind as the venerable Stephen Hawking has of his body. No I am not having a wannabe "tweenage" crisis. It's just the pain after life kicks you in the nuts with a blackjack called realisation. Realisation that all for all that posturing and all the pseudo "acclaim" you're just a below average being. That you've let all that potential everyone had predicted degenerate. That if all your "memoirs" were published you probably would get as much critical acclaim as a Mill & Boon and there would probable be less sex and romance as well.

As the two halves of my "brain" argue their case, their dedication to the cause - in this case my endevour to continually strive for a higher intellectual platform, to enjoy memories of "colorful" past, I see that they have fallen woefully short of my expectations. "Ah!",the left side goes,"But you have achieved a higher intellectual platform - IN YOUR IMAGINATION!" and then with a smirk goes, "and never have I seen such vividly "colorful" dreams". Yeesh.

So. Do you this this realisation that I have fallen short of my own expectation from myself, from life and the Universe will help shock me from my stupor? What are the odds that I will wake up tomorrow, refreshed, from another episodic dream where I win yet another Nobel prize, spend a Gazallion Dollars (U.S.D) and save earth as we know if from a natural calamity and/or killer Aliens??

When will it be time for me to come to that point where I either shit or get off the pot? When I come to that cross roads in life where each road leads to a quest, a quest with no ending in sight, full of perils and pothols,a road with peaks and valleys, I hope this time around I pick one. Just for the ride. Just for the memories. Maybe realise my potential. Whatever that maybe.All I hope is that when I come to them cross roads, I don't just fall asleep and sleepwalk my way through life.

This whole thing make any sense to you? Yeah. Me neither. I'm going back to bed. See you on the flip side.

Pulp Function

Welkommen fellow drones. I like you ( whether you choose to accept or not) am another mindless-consumer driven-trying to keep my head above the water-tryin to keep from slashing my wrists at every disapointment- child of t.v.
I am like you, sired from that unholy matrimony between T.V and fried food with cheese.
I blog not to help you identify with another fallen member of humanity nor to help you come off feeling better that there really is a worst case scenario.Perhaps I am one of those people who mean to writing something profound and meaningful and end up writing utter nonsense. Frankly I don't care. I hope that this experiment shall reveal to me that fleeting moment, that evanescing feeling, that idea that starts to take shape before it ends up a puddle of muddled thoughts.
I start again, a pessimist- wary of failure to end my "blog" on an optimistic note.
Such is me. Such is my life.